Hello and good evening! ...Or morning....depending on where and who you are....
Anyway! Today's spill is all about those lovely wee beasties that have been gloriously haunting our screens, dreams and books for the past few decades. ZOMBIES!.......(I thought the bold capital red lettering looked quite nice. I was going to go for light blue, but since a zombie Smurf has yet to be discovered I thought red was a tad more appropriate...plus ZOMBIES! just seems too tame. Especially if you take the exclamation point and caps away, then you are left with zombies Which kind of looks like an brand of a lolly).
So I just finished the new episode of The Walking Dead, and now I have been plagued with thoughts about the undead for the better part of the afternoon. For anyone who doesn't know what The Walking Dead is about, its the fantastic story a small group of unwashed thieves and mischief makers who go from place to place trying to escape the majority of the american population, who have been overcome with the strange urge to track these other people down and give them hugs. But the problem is they hug far to hard and for an uncomfortable period of time, thus forcing the unaffected to flee into hiding. So it all sort of becomes a big game of hide and seek. Now the other thing is, because the majority of the worlds population have been overcome by this urge, nobody is doing anything constructive or getting any work done. Essentially the whole world has come to a halt, and the only people that can work, can't, because the other stupid people (or 'Walkers' as they are commonly referred to, even though the others do a significantly more amount of walking than those affected) are constantly on their trail.
Now because the impulse to hug is so proficient among them, it means they are constantly out looking for a quick fix, and so spend nearly every hour of every day out on the prowl. This means they often get extremely sun burnt, and since nobody is producing sun cream lotion any more, they start looking in a frightful state.
All up its a pretty funny show, lots of laughs here and there, but after about the second season it seems that the group has become quite fed up with it all and have actually started lashing back quite violently at these 'walkers' (as would anyone though if mass amounts of strangers were trying to hug you on a daily basis).
The only real complaint about the show I have is that, I don't know if the group don't really understand the rules or if they are deliberately cheating, but during the hide and seek sessions when one or more of them get found, they just run away and hide again! I mean the rules generally state that when you are found, you submit to a verbal bashing by the person who found you (or in this case, copious amounts of hugs), followed by lashings of ridicule about how shitty your hiding spot was in the first place, then the roles are reversed and the game commence's until its time for dinner or The Simpsons is on.
But do give it a watch tis a good show to have on while eating dinner.
Annnnnnnyway, I continue.
Now all this got me thinking about zombies and how scary and gruesome they appear to be. However, I think when you look a lot closer at it all, that there are certain great aspects about them which are sadly shadowed by the fact that they eat people alive.
So I am going to just list a few things I have noticed about them in a pro's and con's sort of way just to maybe give you the opportunity to actually weigh them up for yourselves.
Pro: Zombies on a whole, work together rather well. To achieve maximum spoils from their 'hunting trips' they know working together can be far more fruitful than working by themselves. This may be a small lesson mankind could learn, as it does apply to a lot of things in life.
Con: Because they spend basically all day out hunting, their work attendance can be awfully poor.
Pro: Inspite of their ability to cause total anarchy, where people run around madly and leave things in a truly unruly state, Zombies themselves are actually quite environmentally friendly. They don't do any real work, so they don't litter, and when they have dinner they rarely leave anything to waste. Plus they tend to only eat organic foods, and their carbon foot print is virtually nothing.
Con: They aren't terribly hygienic when it comes to cleaning themselves. Its one thing to go out in public with messy hair, but its another thing going out in public with someone else's messy hair lodged between your rotting teeth.
Pro: A zombie apocalypse could very well cut down on people driving to work, and they really do inspire a lot of exercise amongst the community.
Con: They can be pretty harsh taskmasters to people who are over weight. As far as personal trainers go, they can be a bit deadly.
Pro: Zombie aren't racist, or sexist. Hell there isn't a lot a zombie discriminates against at all! Really, they are a model society in that aspect.
Con: They eat everyone....
But that said, at least they do eat Everyone.
So there you have it, just a couple of points to think over. But, for sheer safety, I am assigning everybody to make their own zombie survival plans, exit routes through the house, and what household implements could be useful in such an event.
That's it for me today kiddies, go on, play safe, don't sit too closely to the tv screen, and always eat your veges... Except cabbage... Cabbage is the devil!
See ya
Alex
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