ManFlu: Deadlier than Women Suspect.

  Hi all, it's been a while. I've been busy doing things and stuff. But enough about stuff and things, and onto what really matters!

  Around Winter, and often Summer, and quite often Autumn, and more often than none Spring, people get sick. I don't know the exact statistic, but I'd imagine it'd be about 99.9% of the whole population get sick once or twice in their lifetime (The .1% being made up of Keith Richards and Bruce Willis' character from Unbreakable).
  But there is another form of illness that grips many, yet it only effects one gender... Man.
  Yes, you know it, I'm talking about the ManFlu. I am not quite familiar with it's scientific name, but it'd probably be something like 'AhhhOhGodWhyMe!!?WHY-ME!??-itis' ...Which coincidentally seems to be a females reaction to having  deal with a man struck down with ManFlu.
  However, unbeknownst to many, ManFlu can be a disastrous and the full extent (to which women often criticise) can bring a man down to his very knees, crumbling everything to him.

  So why is this illness so lethal, and yet not taken seriously??
  I'll tell you Bob.
  The ManFlu directly attacks a man's manliness, forcing him to feel weak and frail. You see, the Male immune system vastly differs from the Females. A woman, when sick, can still retain her sensibility. She goes to the doctor, eats soup, takes vitamins, and wraps up warm because she knows she can beat it and soon she shall be right as rain.
  Where as a Males immune system is use to things like tetanus, rabies, and second degree burns, the common cold however immediately attacks the sensibility section of a man's brain, leaving him vulnerable to his surroundings. ManFlu emotionally cripples a man, leaving a mere husk of his former self.
To many women this can be seen as just acting out for attention, or being lazy, but it is just simply that they do not know what actually happens to a man while ManFlu sets in.

  This is why, for my female readers, I will give a run-down in detail about the stages of ManFlu using a fictitious character named Frank.

DAY 1:
  Frank is at the office putting in a few late hours when a fellow employee Jim hands him a cup of coffee. Smiling, Frank takes the cup and thanks Jim. Jim ask's how Franks holiday to Geneva was, and as Frank goes to answer, he feels a slight tingle in the back of his nose. He sneezes.
  Jims face is frozen in an acute state of shock as he slowly backs away. Frank wipes his nose on the back of his hand and tells Jim he's fine. But before he can finish he sneezes again.
  Jim, knowing perfectly well the seriousness of the situation, yelps loudly then flees in horror.
  Quickly Frank clears his papers and throws them in his briefcase before hurling himself into the elevator. He knows he hasn't much time. As he reaches his car, he begins to cough loudly. Hurtling down the motorway at 150mph, panic strikes him. The fear that he man not make it home in time.
  But he does.
  Dorothy, Franks wife, hears his car pull up the driveway. She goes to the front door to meet him, but is stopped in her steps as the door violently swings open reviling her gasping husband. She asks if he's alright, but Frank quickly makes for the couch. Kicking off his shoes and untying his tie, he falls into the soft cushions of the settee in front of him. He made it. At least for now.
  Dorothy, a sensible woman, senses something is wrong. She asks "Honey, are you all right, I sense something is wrong?"
  Frank doesn't reply. At least not in English. "I burb fyn" he mumbles.
  Dorothy tells him to wrap up warm and go to bed. Frank does so.

DAY 2:
  Dorothy awakes to find her husband curled in a ball on the couch eating porridge and watching informercials. "How are we feeling today dear" asks Dorothy.
  Frank, mildly flushed, throws his head back. "Like death! I don't think I'll make it."
  Dorothy rolls her eyes.
  As the Manflu virus slowly attacks Franks immune system, he is thrown through a roller-coaster ride of brief fevers, mild anxiety, fleeting paranoia, and ability to walk around aimlessly in a zombie like state. By the time Dorothy has returned from work later in the afternoon, she has found her husband lying next to the toastie maker, eating ham and cheese toasties while the Lion King blares on the TV in the background.
  Dorothy tells Frank to stop being a baby and just go rest in bed.
  Frank, is hurt by this. An emotion that Frank has suppressed for years suddenly breaks out, and he begins to weep. "It's not my fault!" he cries. "I have nothing! I am but a worm under the foot of god! WOE IS ME!!"
  As Dorothy ushers her frail husband up stairs and into bed, Frank tries to plead his case to her, but with no avail.

DAY 3:
  Frank is dead...
  Manflu has struck the poor man hard and wrought him emotionally to the point of total deathness.


  From these detailed events, Females should take note at the severity of ignoring Manflu. A man left on his own in this unfortunate condition could very well perish.

So please, please, support men during this terrible sickness.
Thank you.

Symptoms: Dizziness, coughing, snuffels, inability to concentrate on often simple tasks, itchy foot, the black lung, disorientation anywhere but the couch, the chills, bad dreams, inability to find a comfortable spot to sleep, hallucinations of heinous killer hot dogs, miss-judging short distances, lack of balance while lying down, forgetfulness, phantom pains, mild addiction to a particular TV series, interest in an obscure subject or language, inability to form whole sentanc.... And many more.